Why psychologists' advice on working with vulnerability/defenses doesn't work
The feeling of helplessness is the main thing that a person with trauma experiences. After psychological trauma, many things sharply respond as helplessness, which is also the most frightening emotion. That is why psychologists often work a lot with clients to restore their sense of security or teach them to cope with helplessness. And here is why it does not always work.
Reason 1
In the context of working with a psychologist, a safe place or space is sought, either in the physical (or imaginary) world. However, there is a huge number of buts here:
safe space can change – it is much better to teach the client the technique of finding and staying in a safe space;
a safe space works effectively if a person is able to draw on its resources – that is, in simple terms, he can relax and feel safe there (allow himself to rest). At the same time, one does not necessarily automatically include the other, you need to work separately on the ability to relax and separately on the ability to take and accumulate resources;
a safe place in the imaginary world is no less effective than in the physical world (proven back in the 19th century), but entering it is just as difficult as in the physical world, since it requires a stable and fairly favorable situation around a person (we are talking about therapy now, not about ninjas and superheroes who can enter there at any moment).
Reason 2
In order to master a new skill, you need to practice. And practice on your own. A psychologist should create a training plan based on the portrait of the psyche and a reasonable level of load for it, so that the client does not overwork, but at the same time these exercises have a significant effect on the psyche.
Reason 3
A safe place may no longer be safe and then you need to look for a new one.
Reason 4
Something happened in your life and you forgot that you need to be in a safe place to replenish your resources.
P.S. You can learn how to work with a sense of security read here or search the Internet (for all those who want to say that this is advertising – no, since no one has cancelled voluntary search. The article is an independent complete work)
