Tragedy in Crocus. How to stop worrying and stressing yourself out. Psychologist's advice
We all learned about the tragedy. What to do?
Scroll your feed endlessly, write random messages, worry and find no place for yourself – what else is left?
First of all, you should calm down. But how?
This article contains short tips on what to do right now if you are anxious or even panicking.
What you need to know about anxiety? Anxiety comes from a loss of control. When something happens that I have no control over. The first rule: admit that there is something big that I have no influence on. But! There are also things that I can still influence!
What CAN I influence?
1 lap. Me myself. I can definitely influence myself, my condition, my body. The first thing to do is check: are you breathing? Breathe! Inhale and exhale. Inhale and exhale.
Body. Feel, iron, knead, touch with your hands: the body is in place, I am in place. Stand firmly on both feet. Breathe! Inhale – exhale. You are alive. There's nothing wrong with you right now. You are safe.
2nd circle My family. Check where everything is. Children, parents, cat. How are they? Is everyone safe right now? Ask how those for whom you are responsible feel. Are they doing well, do they need your support? It is your job and your responsibility to ensure that everything is fine with your loved ones, even if terrible events happen somewhere outside. In your little world (family) you can definitely influence a lot! Remember this!
Next lap. Friends, colleagues. Write to chats. Ask how someone is feeling. Do you need any help?
Far circle. Strangers. Is there something you can do for people? Is there anyone you could help. Support. Write. Transfer money. Maybe there are victims or just those who are more worried than you.
Helping those who are weaker is a great way to cope yourself! When I help, I feel strong.
! But it is important to assess whether you now have the resource to help? If not, there is no need to rush into the embrasure. Remember, mask for yourself first, then for your child.
Ok, what next? How can you get rid of anxiety? Here are some very simple tips.
Talk to someone. It's easier to experience feelings together. Speak out your fears and experiences. What do you feel? The main thing at this stage is that your fear, horror, anger, grief, anger, disappointment and all other emotions are not stuck in the body in the form of tension.
But, attention! Watch your communication: try not to create panic! There is already so much of it. It’s normal to discuss with loved ones and share feelings. But if you feel that by doing this you are not relieving tension, but are only inflating anxiety and driving each other apart, then stop! Take responsibility, do not increase panic and general anxiety.
If you have no one to talk to – write. You can open a notepad on your computer, but it’s better to take a piece of paper and just write whatever comes to mind. The task is to pour out emotions on paper. Write about your feelings, your fears, swear, write nonsense, write that you don’t know what to write – the main thing is to throw out your emotions on paper! If you can cry, it’s very good – it’s a wonderful way to express emotions.
Sound! Express with your voice from the outside – outward how bad you feel. Not necessarily with words, you can growl, snort, moan, sing. And if there is a place to shout (which is a luxury in the modern world) – that’s great! But please be careful: there is no goal of lashing out at your husband or scaring your neighbors. Look for environmentally friendly ways to express yourself, for example – you can scream into the water (in the bathtub), into a pillow, or sing loudly in the car.
Actions! Go for a run, walk the dog, walk laps around the house, pedal, do exercises, clean, do hellish dances – anything, just move! There is a powerful surge of adrenaline in your body right now, you need to use it up somewhere.
Switch. Do cleaning, replanting flowers, washing floors, writing reports, writing a thesis or article (like me). Keep your hands and brain busy. Not everyone will succeed, but for some it will help a lot.
If you feel like you can't cope with anxiety, ask for help. Relatives, psychologist, socio-psychological service, helpline. There are many free resources online where you can turn to for support.
What you definitely shouldn't do
Don't scroll the feed! This will only increase anxiety. You do this because “doing nothing is worse.” Try something more constructive (see previous points). As a last resort, you can agree with yourself: I check the news once an hour/day.
Don't make hasty decisions. If only because a decision made on emotions will definitely be worse than one made with a cool head.
Do not take other people's interpretations of events on faith. There will definitely be a lot of them. Different. Wealthy and not so wealthy. Just know that your critical brain is not working as well right now (because emotions, namely fear, are preventing you from seeing clearly).
In the absence of information, we tend to complete our picture of the world. This is fine. This is how we are designed: we need to explain to ourselves what is happening. Take back control.
In this situation, just take note of the presence of different versions, and draw conclusions later – with a fresh mind.
Do not panic. The worst thing you can do is start to panic or create panic around you. If you notice that this is about you, tell yourself stop it! And try to do something constructive from the above points.
Don't scare children. They read everything. And what they need in an uncertain situation is a confident and strong adult nearby. Be so grown up. If it doesn’t work out, if you don’t export it, ask for help.
And now – NOT professional. Just my thoughts.
There is also this thing called Witness injury. This is when I myself was not a participant in the events, but I was nearby and I saw everything.
Today the world is structured in such a way that we are almost all witnesses. We saw photos and videos from the scene. The problem is that the psyche doesn’t care whether it happened to you or not. It seems to her that since we saw it, it means it happened! This is why many are now anxious and even panicking. We saw it!
I'm not a trauma therapist, but colleagues say:
if a person has suffered psychological trauma (for example, been in an accident), it would be good to “process” it before the person goes to bed.
What does “process” mean? This means interpreting on a cognitive level what exactly it was.
Why before bedtime? Because in a dream, the psyche usually processes the impressions of the day experienced. And she will also process this event in her own way. We don't know how. Maybe he’ll decide that everything is ok, or maybe he’ll put it in some distant but vital compartment called “kick-ass” and pull it out at the wrong moment. We don't know how it will respond. Therefore, it is better to tell her, even in the light of day, exactly how we would like to interpret this or that event.
I think the algorithm here could be like this:
To put into words what happened – without judgment, without epithets.
Recognize the fact that I was actually far away at that moment, and was not physically harmed, I am alive! I survived.
I think it would be good to name the feelings that I have experienced and am experiencing right now, for example: fear, and even horror, confusion, anger, sadness, helplessness…
It would be nice to draw some cognitive conclusions – for example, what to do in such situations – this, in theory, should calm the psyche a little.
Check if there is any tension left in the body? Where? If yes, massage this area, stretch, breathe, relieve tension. Ideally, go for a massage, a pool, a bathhouse, or a shower.
Go to bed.
Write in the comments, did you manage to get rid of or at least reduce anxiety?
