“This issue is decided at the top.” The secret of the blue folders in the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Podgorica

We decided somehow in the autumn of 22 that the whole company would relocate to Montenegro. The time was most peaceful then, nothing happened, it was possible to sit for a long time, but winter was approaching, and the sun was receding.

Therefore, they left Russia slowly, but in a hurry. Who by car through Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, who by plane there too. Someone even imagined the route “Norway-Sweden-Germany-political asylum”, but only in time went crazy. Sooner or later, all colleagues ended up in Podgorica.

Then Ivan Korolev appeared in our life. A Russian emigrant with ten years of experience, a lover of Budva and Honda. Moderately pompous to match the surname, moderately Ivan. While we were thinking about whether we need to register a company and obtain a residence permit in a visa-free and yet hospitable country for Russians, Ivan already knew what was needed. That it will be fast and inexpensive. And the discount for “inexpensive” is valid until the end of the day, because like us, he has a full Moraca river.

Malo Brdo, view of Zagorich and the ancient Roman city of Doclea (hill on the left)

Malo Brdo, view of Zagorich and the ancient Roman city of Doclea (hill on the left)

And we agreed.

At first, our director Andrei opened a company together with Ivan and received a boravak (residence permit) of the director. Everything really went quickly, Ivan only needed to bring money and the necessary documents. I even had to go to the tax office only once. And in the medical examination room the second. In the MUP (local MFC under the Ministry of Internal Affairs), while standing in line for filing, Ivan hinted to Andrey:

  • See the blue folders in the closet? These folders are considered out of turn and a strictly defined decision is made,” Ivan said, adjusting the same blue folder with Andrey’s docks under his arm.

  • Yah? the director said.

  • Well, yes! – answered Ivan, pleased.

A month later, the company opened, boravak turned out, bank accounts yearned in anticipation of the euro.

Malo Brdo, view of Zagorich and the ancient Roman city of Doclea (hill on the left)

MUP just under the mountain 🙂

It’s the team’s turn. But suddenly there was a choice that was not obvious until now: turn to Ivan again or try to get boravak on your own, saving a couple of hundred euros. Since all colleagues needed to finish illegality as soon as possible, they decided not to give up on Ivan. Moreover, according to rumors, the MUP was notable for its particular bureaucratic cruelty and bias in issuing borawaks. To get borawak on your own, you had to:

  1. Have 5000 euros in the account and perfectly prepared documents.

  2. Have access to the second floor, where decisions are made and where complex issues can be consulted.

  3. Just in case, establish ties with the head of the MUP.

  4. To get to a familiar specialist with a good mood.

  5. Do not fall for a mustachioed and always dissatisfied specialist.

  • And is it all true? we asked.

  • And even worse, – Ivan answered, but when he saw our faces, from which it was no longer very possible to read the desire to get boravak, he added: – Don’t worry. Blue folders decide!

The process has begun. Work was done, things were done. Blue folders filled with documents. And everything would have turned out better than ever, or at least in the same way as the director Andrei, if not for the lease agreement.

MUP just under the mountain :)

Maple Yesenin, spring version

Where is this street, where is this house?

Arriving in Podgorica, the first thing we met was Rassvet Petrovich, tall like all Montenegrins and simple as Petrovich, we settled in his house and signed a lease agreement with him. Then they re-signed (because of one little thing). And then they restarted it again (due to another little thing). The contract was drawn up by Dawn’s lawyer, helped by our lawyer, which in itself already seemed reliable, like two heads instead of one. But while we were renegotiating several times, the address of the housing disappeared from the contract. In fairness, the address in the contract was not originally in the place where it should be, but then it was not even in the place where it should not be. The MUPu needed a lease agreement to confirm our provision with housing for one year. But we came to MUP secured for one year, it is clear what, but it is not clear where.

  • This is your joint, – said Ivan.

  • What about the blue folders? we asked.

  • These are the blue folders, but this is your joint, okay? Ivan was not indignant. – Renew the contract for the fourth time and attach a Sheet of Integrity to it, so that for sure (Leaf of Integrity – an extract from the real estate register stating that Rassvet Petrovich owns this property).

MUP accepted all the documents except for the lease agreement, took pictures of all of us and took fingerprints. And also issued a request to report the missing contract. We had a full five days to fix it and order a sheet of inaccuracy.

Peace and spring to all!

Peace and spring to all!

Does the deceased agree?

The contract was corrected, along the way, swearing at both lawyers with kind words, they received a sheet of indecency. All documents were handed over to Ivan. Less than a day left before the deadline.

Soon Ivan called and said that we had concluded an agreement with Rassvet Petrovich, and as many as three people from the family of Rassvet Petrovich own the rented house. And such an agreement, without the consent of the rest of the family members, MUP will definitely wrap up. We wrote to Rassvet Petrovich, asking him to urgently get consent from the rest of the family. “My friends,” answered Dawn, “I have my sister’s consent, although she herself is in Switzerland, but I can’t take my father’s consent, because he died a long time ago.”

***

  • Died? asked Ivan Korolev. — Yes, and certainly the inheritance is not divided, well, then the MUP will definitely wrap up the contract.

  • This is your cant, – Ivan was not indignant again. “But there are several options. The first is to terminate the contract with Dawn, look for a new home and sign a new contract. This will not be done quickly, so you will have to pick up all the documents from the MUP and re-submit. Second, we can make you a fictitious lease agreement tomorrow, but it will cost 50 euros per month. Third, this issue can be solved even more simply, but upstairs, I have a person there, but I need another 200 euros from each.

All night the team and I did not sleep, conferred and argued. The option with 200 euros was immediately dismissed, since, firstly, it is a bribe, and secondly, it seemed to be 200 euros more expensive than blue folders, but with the same zero result. The idea that Ivan Korolev is simply cheating us for money dominated this dispute. In the end, the other options proposed by Ivan disappeared, as well as the desire to continue working with him.

Do-it-yourself stadium

Do-it-yourself stadium

In the morning, without Ivan, we came to the Municipal Unitary Enterprise to first find out what exactly our contracts do not suit them, at the same time check Ivan’s words. But they didn’t even have time to ask a question, the specialist looked at the contracts and the Sheets of inaccuracy, put them in ordinary white folders, and issued the long-awaited letters of agreement (receipts for receiving documents, which indicated that a decision on our borawaks should be approached on February 2).

We called Ivan and asked in bewilderment what the joke was.

  • You rejoice early,” Ivan answered. – You submit documents on the first floor, and the decision is made upstairs. And you have no access to the top, no blue folders.

  • And if there are no blue folders, what is the probability of rejection?

  • Depending on which specialist you get. 50 to 50, – nevertheless, Ivan was no longer as categorical as at the beginning of the acquaintance. But here I am no longer your assistant. Give up – be afraid.

50 to 50

It is the morning of the second of February. The symbolic Groundhog Day, which could just about end, or could start anew. Someone prayed that this would not happen, someone meditated, someone was rationally nervous, not showing any kind.

Standing in line, we kept in mind the last probability voiced by Ivan Korolev – 50 to 50. There are six of us, which means that three residence permits will not receive. Of course, they may not receive all six, which means that some other six will receive, but we will not know about it. Interesting roll…

The long line is humbling. The machine for issuing coupons is broken, so the line is alive, standing, Soviet. Of course, there are all options for standing. There are people with children, there are “just ask”, there are even “professional waiters” who stand in line for someone else and get paid for it. There are helpers who scurry back and forth from client to client. They swear a little in the queue, sometimes they joke, sometimes they discuss the latest news “from there”, but mostly they are silent. Usually you approach a specialist ready for any decision. It’s like another meditation. Weigh all the pros and cons, draw plans “B” and “Su”. What’s on the horse? At stake is either a residence permit in Montenegro for a couple of years or for a very long time. Or mysterious Asia. Or the “beautiful” Russia of the past. There is a lot at stake… A day ago, our fate was decided by Ivan with blue folders. Didn’t fix it. Now the mysterious second floor has to deliver its verdict – are we suitable for residents of Montenegro or not? But in general, how much do you need to be happy? Sun, sky and approaching spring. Yes, and Groundhog Day, too, will do. The main thing is to change the attitude towards him. If only there was no war and corruption …

…In the end, everyone got a residence permit without any questions and euros. Groundhog Day ended on time. Ivan Korolev charged us for “quality” work done. I was ashamed to give a discount for poor quality. He took it and safely disappeared from our lives. But he probably appeared in another with his own, only known to him, the secret of the blue folders.

PS All names and some details have been changed.

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