On the importance of finding your people
I grew up with the conviction that if something useful doesn’t suit me or it’s difficult or boring, then you need to adapt yourself, adjust, get used to it.
Forcing myself to read thick, boring, but adult smart books is about me. And indeed, sometimes by the middle of the book I began to like such books.
It’s a cool belief, but it also has its downsides. The most important is the huge resource intensity. “Adapting” and “adapting” is very costly. This takes both time and energy. I realized this when, as an adult, I stumbled upon something to which I do not need to adapt.
I will try to explain with the example of a teacher.
When you find your person, your teacher, who explains in a way that you understand, it is priceless. With such teachers, development accelerates many times over. You suddenly understand a concept that you’ve been going around and around for years, reading books or listening to other teachers.
The time and effort spent on finding your teacher is paid off by the many times increased speed of development. You trust your teacher more, so the channel of interaction and attention is wider. The density of insights is overwhelming.
Another example is sports. If you find a sport that suits you, then there will be no resistance to engage in it. I know it’s good to move, but I get sick from swimming, and from running I quickly get injured and give it up. But I like skates, rollerblades, beach volleyball, indoor football, badminton, table tennis. I do not persuade myself, I do not step over myself to play badminton.
Or morning exercises … Regular exercises are not suitable for everyone. Yoga is not for everyone. Pilates is not for everyone. This is fine.
How to find teachers
For me, here are the signs that increase the likelihood of a match:
a person grew up and formed in similar circumstances
a person has similar values
you like to communicate with a person, to be with him
you can easily understand him when he speaks on any topic
you think that you could be friends with this person
you do not want to interrupt a person, but you want to listen to
What/who to look for
You need to invest (time, money, effort) in finding the right fit for you:
teachers (here coaches, tutors, psychologists, bloggers)
doctors
hairdressers
ideas
worldview, philosophies
sports
books (these can be re-read many times in a lifetime)
work, business
hobby
directors and individual films (such can be reviewed several times during a lifetime)
Warning
But, as always, remember about balance: the best is the enemy of the good. Justifying inaction by saying that you haven’t found the perfect something yet is a trap.
Where to read more
This is my first post on Habr of this kind. If you are interested in getting to know my thoughts better, welcome to me. in TG. I share my experience and thoughts that were born from it. I am gathering a community of like-minded people.
I plan to duplicate large materials here.
