“How” instead of “Why”

Several years ago I took part in the A-Start startup competition in Novosibirsk Akademgorodok. The competition was accompanied by good, in my opinion, training. And most of all, what influenced me then was the principle that the mentors tried to put into us, it seemed, into the very basis of a startup’s thinking – to teach yourself to think in the format of a solution and in case of any failure, in any dead end, ask yourself the question “HOW” instead of the question “WHY”.

It’s easy to explain to yourself why something doesn’t work out; the explanations are always on the surface, you don’t have to look far for them.

Why do I have a problem? I couldn’t do it – it’s because I or the developers are bad specialists. It was not possible to assemble a team – this is because I do not know how, it is difficult for me to communicate, I do not know how to convince and inspire. The startup doesn’t take off – it’s because the economic situation is like this, it’s because the clients are fools and don’t understand what a brilliant product I made.

More helpful for a startup (or anyone, really) when faced with a challenge to ask themselves a question “how can I solve this problem?” – this question starts a chain of thoughts leading to a solution.

After some time, I became seriously interested in practical psychology, entered the profession of a business psychologist, and became deeply interested in issues of thinking and how we make decisions.

And, I want to say, this same topic “HOW – WHY” now constantly comes up in my work with my clients in a variety of situations.

Perhaps you would be interested in learning a little more about this, but with explanations from the point of view of the functioning of our psyche.

It is worth paying attention to the fact that the answer to the question “why?” is not aimed at solving the problem/task at all and only cements us in the problem.

As my mentor says, the answer to the question “why?” – it’s like a hole in one place, everyone has it. Rough, but intelligible.

It is evolutionarily designed in such a way that when we are faced with some problem that needs to be solved (especially if it is directly or even indirectly related to the three main goals – survival, reproduction or dominance), at this moment a certain amount of “psychic energy” is released, the purpose which is the mobilization of the body’s resources in the direction of solving a problem.

But, having come up with a reason, justifying our failure to ourselves, we calm down and do not motivate ourselves to solve the problem. Our “psychic energy” is spent searching for the cause and, having found it, the emotional charge that could be “spent” on solving the problem is reduced. Those. emotional satisfaction comes as from a solved task. That is, we simply do not have enough enthusiasm left to really deal with the problem.

Of course, this option does not suit us. Therefore, it would be more useful to change the thinking model and learn, in situations where you need to get out of a problem, to ask yourself the question “how?”

How can i do this? How to achieve results How to achieve what you want?

Constantly asking ourselves the question “how”, we tune our perception filters to search for opportunities – we start from all the signals coming from the outside world into our consciousness, into our field of perception, pay special attention to the information that will help us in solving the problem and filter out everything is unnecessary.

This is how we turn on the solution search mode.

Yes, today I can’t do something, my skills are lacking, some resource is missing. But… what can be done given the current situation? What is the first minimum step, something simple, something accessible now that I can take to get closer to solving my problem?

You find the strength and resources to take the first step. You receive positive confirmation of your ability to move towards your goal. The belief that you can get results is strengthened. This gives you even more strength and confidence.

So, step by step, you find opportunities, resources, and acquire the necessary skills. And now the task no longer seems unattainable and unsolvable. And you, instead of looking for excuses for why it didn’t work out, go into achievement mode.

It all sounds great, of course – just start asking yourself a different question. In fact, changing your thinking model is not that easy.

The fact is that we live in a kind of scenarios – established patterns of behavior, with a formed model of decision-making and, sometimes, we do not even realize how strictly internally “regulated” our actions are.

What’s the next step?

As a life hack, you can use one simple psychological technique: “Changing the position of perception.”

There is a simple implementation option that you can easily try yourself.

If you are faced with a problem for which you cannot find a solution, this means that your model of the world does not include a way to solve this problem. In such situations, we can ask someone: “Friend, what do you think about this?”

And thus we get an alternative point of view that expands our model of the world. Often, a friend’s advice helps you grab an idea that will later lead to a solution.

But there is another option.

No matter how strange it may seem, you can “borrow” a model of the world from a complete stranger, but authoritative in your eyes.

Christians call this technique “What would Jesus say about this?” – they try to look at the situation through his eyes and evaluate their behavior/action from his position of perception.

In the same way, we can try to look at the situation through the eyes of an authoritative and successful person whom you respect and whose opinion would be important to you.
No joke… try to “get into his shoes”, associate with him in your imagination, imagine yourself as this person and try to look at your situation through his eyes.

The trick is that when you mentally associate with a person who has a different model of the world than you, there is some shift in your own perceptual filters and your model of the world is enriched – and so you enter the territory of discovery. And then it’s just a stone’s throw away from finding extraordinary and unusual solutions.

Please try!

Thank you for paying attention to my article.
Good luck in job!