How Grandpa Sun Tzu Helps in Negotiations
My dad has always been fascinated by China and Chinese culture. For example, when I was 16 years old, he unobtrusively replaced the magazines “Cool Girl” (A magazine for real girls!) and “All Stars” (12 posters and 2 super posters inside!) with classic works of Chinese literature.
One of the books planted by the pope was an ancient Chinese treatise by Sun Tzu called “The Art of War.” This is a small work, but dense in punch, in which the author’s thoughts and recommendations are presented in an aphoristic manner. It's like the cover of Esquire has Sun Tzu in a beige cashmere sweater and tweed chinos, and inside is “25 Rules for Living as a Chinese General.”
When I was 18 years old, muttering to myself the quote “War is the path of deception,” I managed to: persuade my mother to let me spend the night at the dacha with my classmates, convince her that a black oversized hoodie is fashionable and elegant, and prove to my parents that another dog at home is not a kennel, but a harmonious set.
Now let’s move on from my dad and his kennel to a story about why you need the wisdom of Sun Tzu.
Historians are still arguing about whether Sun Tzu actually existed as a person or whether he is a collective image of Chinese folk art and several generals. The exact date of creation of the treatise is also unknown.
There is no definitive and reference text for this book; it has been copied over centuries. Small changes inevitably found their way into the book one way or another, as happens with most ancient manuscripts.
But what is not discussed is the centuries-old popularity of the collection of military tricks.
It is said that the treatise was constantly studied and used by Napoleon, and perhaps by some members of the Nazi High Command. The Art is now used in military training by the US Army, including the most elite naval forces.
Over the past two millennia, this treatise has remained the most important military collection in Asia. For example, Ho Chi Minh modernized this treatise for himself and widely used it in his activities, and Mao Zedong loved this book dearly and often quoted it in his works. It could well be on his bedside table, if Chairman Mao had such a nightstand, of course.
The teachings of Sun Tzu came to Russia, or more precisely to Ancient Rus', presumably with the Mongol-Tatar yoke. They left, but the book remained to this day.
So, when I'm preparing for difficult negotiations with suppliers or colleagues, I often turn my thoughts to Sun Tzu's grandfather, namely these quotes:
Disclaimer: I am not a sinologist, not a philosopher, or even a military strategist. I just read the book, caught insights and can’t keep them to myself. If you want to study a serious work on this book, then for you there is sinologist Bronislav Vinogrodsky and his translation of the treatise with comments and reasoning.
Act smart
“Therefore, fighting a hundred times and winning a hundred times is not the best of the best; the best of the best is to conquer someone else’s army without fighting.”
Well, this is similar to the path of the Russian national football team, right?
But, in fact, we are talking about something a little different here: we should not avoid battle (problems, conflicts, negotiations), but having thoroughly prepared, get victory with minimal energy costs – without broken noses and cooperation agreements torn right in the face.
But how to do this?
With the help of a skillfully woven web of small steps, tactics and strategies. Cunning and strategic thinking are the must-haves that should be in every head of a homo sapiens.
Sun Tzu also writes: “…to defeat the enemy’s plans, then to break his connections, then to defeat his troops, and the worst thing is to storm the cities.” It is important to model in your head the goals and possible steps of your opponent, think about what he is strong in, where his weaknesses are, what counterarguments he may have to your arguments.
Victory should be easy. Easy, but not without effort.
The Fox from “Kolobok” can be a role model for us. She could behave like a wolf and a bear and simply present Kolobok with the fact: “I will eat you” and, like her furry forest comrades, never sink her teeth into the bakery flesh.
But she acted differently.
To deceive the gullible Kolobok, the Fox played on his narcissistic beginnings: praised, drew attention to the abilities of the little one. With her cunning and sweet speeches, the Fox fooled Kolobok and lulled his vigilance. After, adding a little pity, “…I can’t hear well, …. I’m old, I’ve become,” she finally reduced Kolobok’s anxiety. So much so that he himself sat on the Fox’s nose.
This is how the opponent was defeated and digested without much effort.
Bluff
“War is the path of deception. Therefore, even if you are capable, show your opponent your inability. When you must bring your forces into battle, pretend to be inactive. When the target is close, make it appear as if it is far away. When she is really far away, create the impression that she is close.”
Here it is worth discussing the ethical component of this question: is it possible to lie, omit, conceal, change reality and create a new one during negotiations? It is believed that lying in negotiations is unacceptable, because the result should be mutually beneficial cooperation, development of relationships and other fairy tales of win-win.
But firstly, not all negotiations should lead to long-term partnerships. For example, if you buy a washing machine through Avito and bargain with the seller into a frenzy, you hardly expect to meet him again someday.
And secondly, you must always keep in mind that the other side can also lie. And it will be.
To get sanctions off the use of lies in negotiations, I like to call it a bluff.
The bluff is elegant, harmless and simply pushes the opponent to do what you want from him: the seller of the washing machine, lowering his voice, says that you are already the third person today who wrote to him and he will give it to the one who will not reduce the price and faster everyone will come for her.
You know he's bluffing. He understands that you understand. And you play the game “Who will dance with whom.” This is good.
On the contrary, unethical behavior, when the seller says that the washing machine spins the drum like Leonid Yakubovich, but in fact it has not been working for a long time, is truly unacceptable and violates generally accepted moral standards. Don't do that.
The boundaries between these two types of behavior are blurred, but they can be easily felt intuitively. When imagining yourself as a great schemer, it is important not to slide into a banal scoundrel.
Respect
“Invincibility lies in oneself, the possibility of victory lies in the enemy. Therefore, one who fights well can make himself invincible, but cannot force the enemy to necessarily allow himself to be defeated.”
We are not always able to achieve our goals in negotiations. You can do everything to ensure that your opponent cannot surpass you: prepare carefully, think through your actions ten steps ahead, like the most eminent chess player, and even do everything to negotiate from a position of strength. This way you can become invulnerable, “invincible.”
But this does not guarantee that the other side will allow itself to be defeated.
The result of negotiations depends not only on you – it is important to respect and accept the talent and strength of your interlocutor.
The opponent can also come to the meeting fully armed, having prepared a couple of proprietary persuasion techniques and a stack of emails where he is impeccable, but you… Or maybe he decides not to engage in battle at all and simply refuse to negotiate.
And this applies in any area of life:
Having collected an extract from the Unified State Register, a copy of the loan agreement, a 2-NDFL certificate and a 3-NDFL declaration, no one guarantees that you will receive a tax deduction for the apartment. The enemy is strong and does not enter into negotiations at all.
Having gathered the will into a fist, prepared a list of articles on the psychology of relationships and scrolled through all the options for repelling attacks, the likelihood of success in negotiations on the topic that the mother-in-law will stop coming to visit every weekend is still doubtful.
Having held a meeting with colleagues and proposed a logical and effective (with graphs and diagrams!) way to automate work processes, you can encounter complete rejection and quite strong arguments that: “Everything works normally, what are you starting with?”, “I studied for 10 years.” I won’t have to relearn how to do this in Excel,” and “No budget, no people.”
Therefore, the potential for victory depends on you, but the real victory is related to the capabilities of your opponent. Here Sun Tzu reminds us that everything in the world is interconnected, and even being the most powerful wolf in the pack, the outcome of the negotiations will always depend not only on you.
And even if you didn’t manage to return to your hometown on horseback, with the enemy’s head/lucrative contract/successfully purchased washing machine in your hands, then yes – life is a bitch. But this is not the last battle.
Sun Tzu also wrote:
“If victory is delayed, the weapon becomes dull and the edges break off. If they besiege a fortress for a long time, their strength is undermined…”
Therefore, I will not besiege the fortress of your mind for a long time and dull the edge of your interest and will leave here only these aphorisms above, so that you yourself can enjoy the age-old sayings and think about their application.
