Can small indulgences be the secret to success?
The latest research shows that delayed gratification is not always a guarantee of well-being – carefully planned pleasure moments can bring huge benefits.
We may live in a predominantly secular society, but the Protestant work ethic [в Британии / прим. перев.] still alive and strong. We are told that millennials are lazy, self-indulgent people. They spend too much and save too little, behavior that harms not only their future prospects, but the prospects of the global economy.
We must have the courage of ancestors who were not afraid to endure hardships, dreaming of a better life in the future. Except they, too, are being criticized for enjoying the life they have worked so hard to earn. According to British Chancellor Jeremy Hunt, it is time for people over 50 to put down their golf clubs and start contributing to the economy again.
The gospel of self-restraint is obviously very deep in people’s psyches, and until recently, psychological research seemed to confirm that delayed gratification is indeed the secret to long-term success. However, some new research has cast doubt on these ideas. Although moderate effort of the will is almost certainly beneficial, people who try to avoid any indulgence become neither happier nor healthier. They are not even more successful in achieving their goals.
By accepting rather than avoiding our short-term desires, and knowing when and how to indulge them, we can enjoy greater well-being without sacrificing our productivity.
long and short
By definition, delayed gratification is the idea that postponing temporary pleasure for the moment will lead to greater satisfaction when we reach our long-term goals.
The study is perhaps best represented by the famous “marshmallow experiment”, in which the children were asked not to eat one marshmallow at once, promising that in a quarter of an hour they would be able to eat two marshmallows. Years later, those who successfully passed the marshmallow test received better grades in school and moved up the career ladder faster.
“My want, but my wait”: Korzhik learns a valuable lesson
This discovery proved so influential that it inspired educational programs dedicated to character building; the idea even made its way to Sesame Street, where Korzhik learned to deal with his desires—and taught viewers to do the same. “Mine want, but mine wait,” he sang in the accompanying electropop parody.
But does delayed gratification always lead to better health? Signs that this is not the case appeared as early as the 1990s. Analyzing the available data, Professor David Fander of the University of California at Riverside found that children who score high on self-control also grow up too withdrawn and lacking in curiosity. He also pointed to research showing that women with very high levels of self-control tend to be at greater risk of depression. “The correlates of delaying gratification are definitely ambiguous,” concluded He.
More recent research has shown that people with high levels of self-control may suffer from feelings of regret. It can be difficult for them to appreciate the present, and, looking back at their lives, they begin to regret the sacrifices they made.
To explore this possibility, Professor Ran Kivets of Columbia University and his doctoral student Anat Keinan asked university graduates to remember their winter holidays spent 40 years ago. The researchers found that aging graduates were far more likely to complain that they had too much self-control at this pivotal moment in their youth than to regret a lack of it. Their regret about the pleasures they missed out on being too rational, for example, turning down the opportunity to go on a trip, was much stronger than the guilt for the moments of indulgence – those when they skipped school, spent too much and behaved irresponsibly.
Interestingly, the researchers found the exact opposite among today’s undergraduates: these students were much more likely to support the standard view that self-control is preferable to indulgence. Only from a lifelong perspective were the graduates able to realize how much richer their lives could be if they practiced a little less self-denial.
People with low self-control are often said to have a kind of psychological myopia, but Kivets and Keinan suggested that many suffer from the opposite problem – psychological farsightedness, which causes them to focus so much on their future goals that they cannot enjoy all the delicious distractions of the present moment.
strategic indulgence
In addition to ignoring these long-term regrets, historical psychological research may have exaggerated the short-term consequences of momentary indulgences. According to one well-known theory, any slip will only encourage more slips, as we will succumb to new temptations.
For example, if you’re on a diet, one piece of cake may soon lead to another, until all your good intentions go to waste. In the same way, when you start watching YouTube videos, you may find that the whole morning has passed and you still haven’t done any work. For this reason, indulgences were seen as “failures” to be avoided.
This idea also has religious roots. “This idea of abstinence is rooted in Christianity,” says Prof Lile Jia from the National University of Singapore. However, recent research shows that periodic indulgence in our desires can often be better for our well-being, without putting us on a slippery slope to failure. The trick seems to be to plan indulgence ahead of time.
Is giving in to temptation a slippery slope?
Consider the study “Benefits of Planned Bad Behaviorby Prof. Rita Coelho do Vale of the Lisbon Católica School of Business and Economics in Portugal and her colleagues at Tilburg University in the Netherlands. All participants wanted to lose weight and aimed to consume an average of 1,500 calories per day. For participants in the control group, there was no opportunity to vary the diet. While participants in the “bad behavior” group were asked to eat only 1,300 calories on six days a week, they could afford 2,700 calories on the seventh day. During the first two weeks, the researchers tracked participants’ motivation and their overall mood. Then, a month later, they tracked the progress again.
As you would expect from people on a calorie-restricted diet, participants in both experiments lost several pounds. On average, their body mass index dropped from 25, which is considered overweight, to 24, which is in the “normal” category. However, there were significant differences in their impressions of the diet: people who planned these indulgence days reported more positive feelings and remained more motivated throughout the time. In contrast, participants who simply cut calories without scheduling treat days found it much more difficult for them to maintain self-control and stick to their diet. This can be critical to the long-term success of the diet.
Jia noted similar phenomena in his researchcomparing the habits of high and low GPA students at US universities. He was interested in how they react to major college sports such as American football, basketball and baseball. These games are an important part of the life of students in the US, but at the same time they are very distracting from their studies. If successful self-control simply means forgoing short-term pleasures in pursuit of long-term goals, then one would expect students with high GPAs to avoid matches before exams.
To find out if this is true, Jia and his colleagues at Indiana University Bloomington asked 409 students to complete an online survey a week before a home basketball game against a longtime rival team. They reported on their general attitude towards basketball and then gave an hourly plan of their activities for the day before the game, the day itself, and the next day.
Go ahead, team! Students who build their studies around sporting events achieve better results than those who avoid them completely.
In general, students with low and high GPA expected to devote about the same amount of time to their studies during these three days; the big difference was how they distributed those classes. The more successful students planned to take much more rest time on game day, but made up for it with a few extra hours on the days leading up to the match. Students with low GPAs, on the other hand, planned to skip the game entirely.
Importantly, a follow-up study confirmed that academically more successful students were much more likely to take an active part in watching and celebrating collegiate matches—and that they enjoyed it significantly. “They enjoyed their activities more,” Jia says. This could put them in a better psychological state to continue their studies the next day.”
Chia’s latest research suggests that the benefits of “strategic indulgence” may be due to an increased sense of autonomy – a finding that could prove useful to those hoping to avoid procrastination at work.
Avoiding guilt
There are many ways we can apply this new perspective on self-control by incorporating a few strategic indulgences into our lives. We can indulge ourselves in pleasant entertainment during a long work day or plan regular treats as part of a healthy diet. If we save money, we can designate a date each month when we will enjoy a rare luxury as a reward for our frugal life.
Just as importantly, this research should teach us to be more accepting of those unplanned indulgences that may inadvertently take us a step further from our long-term goals. You may think that guilt and self-criticism will help you learn from your mistakes, but recent psychological research shows that they are often counterproductive. By increasing our stress levels and decreasing our sense of self-efficacy, these emotions can dampen our motivation. It is far better to indulge in a little self-compassion while enjoying the pleasure before looking for practical means to get back on track.
As a study of university graduates has shown, balance is key: we should strive to weigh the needs of our present or future selves to ensure that we are serving the health and happiness of each and every one of them. And contrary to the opinion of self-help puritans, sometimes a little hedonism is exactly what you need.
