Apple Event Unleashed – Text Broadcast

It seems to be pretty decent before Halloween, but the number of pumpkins is increasing every second. Numerous MacBooks are turning into them, and not only on processors with x86 architecture, but also recently fresh and fast models on Apple M1.

Last year’s Macbook and Mac mini turned out to be surprisingly successful. Apple has managed to achieve 99% seamless cross-platform transition. I myself, out of curiosity, bought a Mac mini with an M1, hoping to catch a lot of funny bugs and write about them. But instead, I got a working machine that encodes video five (!) Times faster than the previous generation, and consumes three times less energy.

But there were also limitations. First of all, I was surprised by the maximum memory capacity of 16 GB, which is, of course, sparse for serious work. There are very few ports. Well, there would be more cores and faster.

Let’s see what Grandpa Tim shows us. He’s already calling.

I have mild epilepsy from the splash screen, now I’ll have some water.

In the opening video, we are shown how from shit and sticks of available materials to record the coolest soundtrack. In fact, music can indeed be made from very simple objects. But here you need something in your head.

Oh, and Tim is ours, RUSSIAN. Stands knee-deep in the grass, almost in a blouse …

So, today we will talk about MUSIC and MAKES. Someone will say that these two topics have a lot in common …

Devices for playing music have spawned – my compliments. But there’s not a lot of good music. This is regardless of Apple, sorry. Where is the new Jim Morrison or at least Elvis Presley, huh? Where is the Beatles?

Good music creates the mood itself, not playlists are created to suit the mood. That’s it, guys.

NEW APPLE MUSIC SUBSCRIPTION… Subscription presentation! This is the 21st century! Scientists never dreamed of this.

In short, the tariff is for the most undemanding and lazy. Let’s continue. Moreover, he will not get to Russia tomorrow.

HomePod mini is a very cool speaker that is not sold in Russia. But we have Yandex.Stations. Which in beta mode have learned how to make a stereo pair. I won’t try.

And HomePod mini has new vibrant colors. What, Apple, are you spying on Yandex?

Well, so-so warming up, in short. Tim is standing knee-deep in the grass again.

New AirPods! So-so!!! Hopefully not just color?

Computational photography, computational audio … Well, at least the girls are still real.

3rd generation AirPods !!!

Beautiful. More like Pro.


The operating time from one charge is increased to 6 hours. The case charges four times.

179 bucks, orders from today. Buy something from me, please. Here’s a good little finger …


Tim, stop standing in the grass, I’m starting to sing “Polyushko-Pole” and dance with my pet bear.

The first professional M1 Pro chip!

The memory bandwidth is 200 Gig per second. Up to 32 gigabytes !!!

10 cores, of which 2 are high-performance.

And 16 cores per GPU. Dota will finally pull.

Maybe a virtual machine with Windows, m?

Oh, the ports have been added. Two displays! The beauty. I threw my old Mac mini out the window.

Eh, here more M1 Max !!!

FOUR GIGABYTES MEMORY BANDWIDTH !!! 11111 64 gigabytes maximum.

What are you doing?

32 cores per GPU. Even Quake the third will go fine.

A man with a French accent scoffs at pussies. But, but!

Until World of Tanks natively works on M1, we don’t believe in all this, right? Truth?..

But I said before that the energy efficiency of all M1s is mind-boggling. Can not argue.

So, 4 more external displays can be connected to Max. Cool, really. What really … ahhh

Oh, I’ll tell you now – how they provided instant activation. Taking into account the ridiculous power consumption, they stupidly do not turn off the electronic filling.

New version of Rosetta!

Let’s go virtual. It doesn’t count without Boot Camp. Tim, return the booth!

Developers say how cool it is to develop for M1. We remember their faces, surely someone will wander into the presentation of the 12th generation Intel Core 🙂

Come on products!

So, new MacBook Pro… So, it seemed to me, or is it MagSafe?

16 inches and 14 inches! Yes! Yeah !!!

They say they will be very quiet. Naturally, there is nothing to cool down there.

2 kilos at 16 inches and 1.5 kg at 14 inches.

Will you return the glowing apple?

AHAHA, THEY KILLED TACHBAR. And how he breathed, how he breathed!


Well, just classic – buy a goat, sell a goat.

Nobody wants my 2019 MacBook Pro? Nobody … huh? ..

Oh, bangs on the MacBook screen. Fresh, fresh 🙂

The pixel density has increased by 1.8 million in the 16-inch model.

120 HERZ SCREEN. With dynamic frequency change.

Listen, well, apart from jokes – these are exactly those MacBooks about which we have been waiting for. Why we were forced to sell some strange hat for four years – I don’t know.

And HDR just like on a real Apple display …

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, they raised the resolution of the front camera to Full HD. WELL FIRSTREES STICKS, 21 years old in the yard. When is 2K? In 2040?

6 speakers in each laptop, two of them are bass speakers. It’s good that my neighbors have no money for such laptops …

Again, they want to talk about performance.

The new laptops are said to be twice as fast as Core i9 models.

And the old Radeons pick up confidently.

Of course, the comparison is not very correct, since then both the radios have been pumped and the pegs. But in the main, they are right.

To the memory rolls I will add that the M1 with 16 gigs was no worse than a puss with 32 gigs. And then what will happen? How is 128? Who is it who has such volumes?

7.4 Gibagytes per second on an SSD is just not a miracle, new models with PCIe 4.0 support can do this on pisyuk. But for a laptop, of course, good.

The 14-inch model can play serials for 17 hours in a row. And the 16-inch is even bigger. Wow, I’ll finally watch Friends.

Good MacBooks. I just don’t understand anyway – why didn’t you do everything right before? Why did we buy the previous generations?

Ruthless Tim.

You can order today, only 2500 for the oldest. In a week in stores.

Tim said goodbye to us. And scientists around the world are puzzled by the problem of growing buds in the laboratory.

I do not know that there are headphones. But laptops are good. It’s strange that the Mac mini was not updated, it was straightforward. Perhaps they will be delivered by Christmas.

Thanks for reading. See you later!

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