Anxiety. How to give feedback?
Three years ago, when I became the head of a department with 10+ employees, and having no experience in such work, I had to study a lot about the topic of giving feedback. The company was small, and it was necessary to work a lot with current employees, including improving their competencies. After some time of trial and error, I was able to formulate several important postulates on how to work with feedback and not later be drawn into a further conflict of misunderstandings and omissions.
How many times have you set a task, received a result that does not suit you, but decided not to give feedback because it is a way out of conflict?
And in the end they just said “thank you” and remade the task themselves?
I don’t see, but I know that you are smiling – the answer is yes.
But in the long term, not giving corrective feedback is dangerous and unproductive:
the work is not done or is done with double labor costs,
you start to get annoyed with a person because he “does his job poorly”, as you think,
you begin to sabotage the transfer of part of the work to this employee because you don’t want to quietly redo it for him,
the person does not receive feedback, thinks that everything is fine, and in the end, at the evaluation meeting, he is surprised to discover that it turns out that he did a poor job.
I understand that any negative feedback (and most often this is what we give – a positive “thank you, it was cool” is much easier to say) causes anxiety in us. What if the person gets upset or starts, on the contrary, attacking you? What if you gave feedback “wrong” somehow, and the person reacted completely adequately? Or this situation begins to escalate to the manager, then HR, and simple “feedback” results in a search for those to blame.
To be clearly confident that your feedback is correct, you need to understand what exactly is considered good form (and what you have the right to demand). Then in any conflict you will be on the side of logic, and not of hurt feelings.
Firstwhat should you do before thathow the meeting will take place is:
formulate the problem(s) in sentences that do not contain adjectives (bad: “You formulate requirements in the technical specifications disgustingly”),
add specifics to the proposals (better: “The requirements of the technical specifications that you formulated do not indicate the format for their implementation.”)
and, if possible, indicate why you think this is a problem (very good: “The requirements of the technical specifications that you formulated do not indicate the format of their implementation. Without such additions, it will be difficult for us to deliver the module – the Customer can change the implementation format along the way, and we will have to redo it as many times as necessary“).
As you can see, we are shifting the focus from the human factor to the performance factor. That is, it is not the person himself who does not reach a certain level, but the result of his work can affect the project.
Second – please stop beating around the bush with your wording at the meeting. The more clearly you communicate the problem, the fewer misunderstandings there will be. If you stick to the first point and speak in phrases “detailing the problem that affects the result + consequences,” then you will not need to scrape in polite language. Facts cannot be polite or unpolite. In general, based on feedback, I would not linger at the beginning of the meeting with a small talk, and would immediately get down to business. “Hi. I looked at the material you sent me. Thank you for being on time. I have a few thoughts on how to improve the result.”
Third. Don't assume why a person did a thing. For example, due to misunderstanding, lack of knowledge, laziness, or whatever else it may be. This point follows from the second. Only the facts, and only to the point.
Fourth. If it is important to us why a person did this or that way, ask him yourself in the form of an open question.
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In addition to all of the above, you need to consider the following points:
If you are going to give feedback, set deadlines for the employee on the task much earlier than the time for submitting the work to the Customer, for example. You can give feedback after the fact, but it’s like a poultice for a dead person. No, it’s useful, perhaps, but then choose points that can be improved in principle in terms of interaction, and not detailed ones that are applicable only in this work.
Who do you give feedback to? Not every employee will even perceive the facts the same way. A former student on probation will require bOgreater participation, dialogue and will require from you not a simple statement of facts, but, perhaps, examples from life in relation to the problem. This way, the feedback will be more like a transfer of knowledge and will not demotivate the employee.
If you're annoyed and want to come and trash your colleague at a feedback meeting, postpone the meeting. No, seriously, emotions on both your and your colleague’s side will prevent the meeting from being constructive.
Be prepared for arguments. Your opinion may be correct, but do not devalue another person's knowledge and experience. If you hear arguments that seem adequate, think about whether you might agree and do as your colleague suggests. Only sheep stand their ground, not listening to anyone else. You are all working towards the outcome of the project, and the goals of the project are higher than your ego.
Remember the chain of command. Do you even have the right to demand that a person know/do as you ask? Have you been given such powers? Maybe your feedback should be given not to the person who did it, but to the person who involved this person in the project? It’s better to check with your supervisor/project manager whether feedback is needed from you or not.
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From this article, it seems that feedback goes from the person who set the task to the performer. But it is not always the case. This is a bidirectional process. It’s completely normal that it can work the other way. You may set tasks incorrectly. The most common case is when you throw a poorly formulated task at a junior employee and expect outstanding results from him. In this case, the performer, having gone through all the same points, can give reasonable feedback to the manager on the format of setting tasks.
Working with feedback is always about responsibility, proactivity and caringness. And also about growth. In your hard skills (you become a better specialist) and soft skills (you are not afraid to enter into conflict). Unfortunately, the ability to work with conflicts and feedback is developed only through practice, and nothing else.
