and 3 more rules on how not to lose yourself by the age of 40

Until the age of 30, it seems that you still have time to conquer the world. Some people actually make it. But soon many have children, and the lower back and stomach slowly leave the game. That’s when you begin to understand that life ends damn quickly. In this article we’ll talk about how not to completely screw it up.

It's hard to accept but we're all going to die

No company can give such a 100% guarantee of results. But the old woman with a skull and a scythe guarantees everything to everyone.

Logically, death should motivate us to quickly reach the top. But in life everything is different. The old woman has a braid, but there is no exact deadline. That is, she is a useless employee. But it’s scary to fire someone, otherwise they’ll suddenly take on the job again.

It turns out that we are all sitting on a mine that we don’t know when it will explode?

Yes, but it’s easier not to think about it than to worry about every second. The strategy of “live every day like it’s your last” only works for sappers and those who mix vodka with champagne.

For the most part, our people like to binge watch TV series, scroll through TikTok, or read philosophical articles like this one. Postpone life until later. In general, almost all of us are champions of wasting time.

But if we don't think about death all the time, why then does losing time worry so many of us? Let's try to figure it out.

In 33 years, Jesus has done dozens of generations worth of work

Oleg from Pyatigorsk, at 33, is just moving out from his mother. Arthur opens his tenth business. Oleg looks at this disgrace and feels worthless. We often experience severe frustration while observing successful achievements from the outside.

Most often we worry about time when we compare ourselves with the young and successful

Bloggers annoy us with their ideal life – an apartment, a car, a job, travel and a dream relationship. This is captivating. Hidden behind all this screen, the rivers of tears and mountains of cocaine usually do not fit into the frame. Therefore, it is very easy to fall into the trap of expensive handbags and Maybachs. Especially if you don’t yet know what you’ll do when you grow up.

Research has shown that rich people can't get enough of high incomes and luxury. That is, there is no final relaxation with a cocktail under a palm tree.

Usually a question arises in the head of a rich person: “Am I living better than my successful neighbor?»

And such a neighbor, as you know, can always be found. It is enough to move to an elite area. Just yesterday you were the richest lord in the area and earned 500k rubles a month. But now you are surrounded by businessmen with an income of over a million. This is the new peak. And so on ad infinitum.

Eternal dissatisfaction

Harvard professor Michael Norton in his study of the rich surveyed over 2,000 people with a net worth of $1 million or more (many with much more). To the question “how much money will they need to become happier,” almost all of them answered – 2-3 times more than now.

A man with a million thinks he needs three. A man with ten thinks he needs thirty. And then it’s definitely a success.

Money is a great measure of success. Whoever has more wins. But how do you measure other important things?

For example, how do you know how good a parent you are? Now this is more difficult. Next, we come up against the thesis: “Money in any amount does not bring satisfaction in the long term and does not solve all problems.” But you can buy a house with a pool and the opportunity not to work, or at least not to work with assholes.

Money helps you save time and delegate routine. Cool thing, I recommend it.

However, always chasing wealth, coming home at midnight, leaving at six in the morning is the path to depression. To sit in the same chair as Elon Musk, you have to give up a lot of joys.

How can you then explain to your daughter that you were at a shareholders meeting and therefore missed her birthday?

The illusion of success or a false trail in history

Motivational videos on YouTube say: leave your mark! Become the second Coco Chanel or at least Kirkorov. The idea is cool, but let's think about what it is – a famous person?

Essentially it's a character. A set of our ideas about a person based on open information, true and not so true. Napoleon is a French conqueror and a cake. Caesar is a Roman politician and a salad. Harry Potter is a magical boy from Hogwarts. Do you understand what I'm getting at?

A famous person appears in the memory of most as a fictional character.

Rockefeller played for us the role of an ancient vampire with six hearts. As real as Batman. But Uncle Misha from the next door seems to be even a man when he doesn’t drink. It turns out that only a narrow circle of people will truly remember us.

Of course, this is not a reason to freeze the development of a cure for all diseases and refuse the Nobel Prize. Rather, it's a reason to think.

Rule No. 1 – think about whether it’s worth pursuing success and luxury at the expense of everything else?

How short life is: spoiler – it’s crazy how short it is

The average person in Russia lives about 73 years. Without a calculator, it seems to us that this is approximately 1,000,000 days and the same number of weeks. Actually a little less.

73 years = 26,663 days, a total of 3806 weeks if you're lucky. Considering how much we sleep and read comments on VC, there is still a lot of time left to build a business empire. But there is also good news.

26,663 days is a huge number relative to zero.

That is, you were lucky to be born and start an individual life timer. Congratulations, your respawn in the Borisoglebsk location was successful. I hope you didn’t choose the point yourself, otherwise you are a very extraordinary person 🙂

How to use your time correctly so as not to regret later

I think you already know how to invest your time. The question is – where? And how can you get guarantees that your “favorite” activity won’t get boring after a year? Is this really the best choice? I'm afraid to make a mistake. I don’t want to waste my life in a factory or office.

In the Middle Ages, a man was born a blacksmith and spent his entire life forging armor for knights, and a groom bred horses. His son did the same. It was impossible to leave the stables for IT, because the king would not understand. Today all roads are open. Choose what you like. Surprisingly, this has become a problem for many.

I want to be everything!

Many people choose not to choose at all. I was among them. This is the very moment when you hang yourself with projects from different areas like a Christmas tree with balls. I am a specialist, a reaper and a trumpet player. Everywhere I want to be at least a master of sports.

I wanted to build a marketing agency, an online school for handicrafts, a club for specialists, a children's development center, and a YouTube channel. If you have a lot of ideas, that's good. It's bad when you think you can implement everything at once. As a result, you do nothing.

You're probably asking, “But how do you explain examples of people being successful in different areas?” Let me try.

1. He worked sequentially, first one thing, then another. For example, I spent three years learning to write texts, then making videos for another three years. Then I learned to sell.

2. I upgraded one of the areas much more, but otherwise achieved average results.

3. I studied very similar areas: for example, a writer became a screenwriter, an illustrator became a designer, an artist became a producer.

4. The person delegated and completed most of the projects by the team.

Why do you still have to make a choice?

Choosing one activity and skipping everything else is painful. But doing everything together and not choosing is even more painful. This is self-deception with hopes of time management.

“One day I will redo everything and my level of productivity will skyrocket,” the horse thought. The trick is that this will never happen. Let's say you become a time management guru and free one day a week. What happens next?

You will occupy this time with another bunch of “useful” things. And this pile will not allow you to do what is really important. Because things never end.

They say you need to divide things into important urgent, important non-urgent, unimportant, and so on. This is bullshit. There are so many important things to do that we have to give up what is important for the sake of what is even more important.

We are obliged to sacrifice our beloved for the sake of our more beloved. Unfortunately, there is not enough time for everything important. Well, as you may have guessed, it is almost impossible to control this chaos.

If you think time management or a planner will help you control your time, tell that to the flat tire or the baby who wants to eat right now. Other people also usually don’t care what you have planned for today. Therefore, they compete for your time and attention without thinking twice.

More often than not, a time management system becomes an unnecessary task that takes away more than it gives. This doesn't mean planners are useless. They just won't save you from choosing.

Warren Buffett's pilot once asked him for advice: “How can I become productive?” To this Buffett responded something like this:

Write down, in descending order, 25 important things and projects that you would like to do in life. At the beginning of the list are the most important ones and so on. Do the things that are in the top five of your list and never do the rest. Avoid them at all costs in favor of the five most important ones.

In short: don't do the important things, do the most important ones.

There are also advantages to giving up important things. When you sacrifice something important for your choice, its value increases. You will love the project you paid a high price for more.

Well, and the most important thing: good things take a long time to do, so becoming a top specialist or taking a business to the forefront will not happen in a month. Don't be fooled by such promises. You will have to work a lot and probably on just one thing. You have to make the choice yourself; no one will make it for you.

Rule No. 2 – to do at least something well, don’t do everything at once, make a choice

Just do it

So, you and I have already realized that life is short, something good takes time, and choice is inevitable. You will have to deny yourself the important things in order to do even more important things.

Let’s imagine that you have already decided: “that’s it, I’ll be a hairdresser or a businessman.” Start doing it. Right now. This is the most important thing, without this no GTD system or anything will work.

If you wait for things to end or for the right moment, it will never come.

Only regularity, discipline and other masochism – no magic or quick money in two weeks. You will have to do new things to grow. Regularly.

Most people will remain in the habitual way, because moving forward means suffering. But once you admit it, you will feel better. You will begin to *suffer = go towards the goal. Well, or consciously forget, so as not to overwhelm yourself with dreams.

Nobody forbids being a happy layman; this is not bad at all. And if someone puts pressure on you and tries to make you look like an inferior beggar, say, “I smell the spirit of infogypsy from you, sir.”

Conclusion

An important task is associated with stress, this must be accepted. Even favorite, even interesting. When you realize that you cannot do without stress, procrastination will fall off or at least loosen its claws a little.

How to start acting correctly so as not to score

Let's imagine that you decide to become a fitness trainer or to start losing weight. It seems that the goal is clear and understandable. But that's just how it seems. Learning to sing, playing sports, creating a VKontakte page are very abstract and useless goals.

Even if the guru advises you to set precise goals in style to lose 20 kg in three months. You wrote it down in your notebook at the beginning of the year and forgot. Why?

Because the big “lose weight” pie needs to be divided into pieces in the form of specific actions. Find the very first one among them and do it. What is the goal of losing weight? Let's get a look.

Obviously from diet, sports, regimen, consultations with doctors, etc. From this bunch of actions, choose the first one. For example, consult a nutritionist. Take the very first step from it – choose a doctor.

That is, Google the nearest doctors and call or ask friends who are also losing weight, so that they can recommend a specialist. Result: you found out the conditions and made an appointment. Great. After the appointment, implement the recommendations according to the same principle.

Look for the first action and perform it. The goal of learning English or getting pumped up will not budge until you unravel this tangle. Essentially, your immediate task is to “Google gyms and call” or “order a weight,” and not abstractly “start lifting.”

Breaking down a project into components and specific actions is a very useful skill. Use it.

Rule No. 3 – it’s worth admitting that doing things hurts and breaking large tasks into specific actions

Key ideas in the article that you don't have to agree with

1. Life doesn’t have an exact deadline, so we often waste a lot of time on all sorts of nonsense.

2. Success turns a person’s life into an eternal race, but money does not solve all problems.

3. Life is short, so you have to make a choice and give up some important things.

4. Doing something important is inevitably stressful.

5. No time management system can replace regular actions.

6. A big goal needs to be broken down into specific actions.

Books on the topic

To better understand the issue, read:

• Alexey Markov – “The Elephant Frog and Broccoli: How to live and how not to”

• Oliver Berkman – “4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals”

• Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi – “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”

Subscribe to my channel (Where would we be today without this). I’m writing about how a freelancer can reach 100k – 300k per month through a controlled flow of clients. And so that there is time left for rest, hobbies and family. See you 😉