A short guide to communicating with the customer

The article contains a set of techniques based on research and extensive practice. If negotiations are not your main activity, then this material will be enough to maintain communication with clients, coordinate complex technical issues and receive new orders.

From the article you will learn:
• What is the basis of a trusting relationship with a client?
• What marker shows the level of maturity of a relationship?
• How to build a conversation
• How to present information clearly
• How to achieve good memorability
• How to use semantic blocks so that text and speech influence decisions made
• How to safely compliment a stranger
• How to acquire the skill of being a pleasant conversationalist
• How gifts, or the lack thereof, affect relationships

Sandler's methodology

David Sandler, a successful entrepreneur, suddenly went bankrupt at the age of 36 and got a job in the sales department. I must say that he hated sales, but in the USA, like here, they don’t like to hire people who have experience running their own business.

Sandler had no choice, and his family needed to be fed, so he began to thoroughly understand the nuances of sales. This ended with the appearance in 1967 of his own, quite successful sales methodology.

It is based on the fact that an imaginary counter disappears between the seller and the buyer. The technique works especially well in B2B. The client and the contractor seem to unite and work as a team. Of course, their relationship is built on trust, and not on the desire to earn money or save money.

On the one hand, this allows you to build long-term relationships of parity and work for many years to mutual pleasure and benefit. On the other hand, not every client can enter into such an alliance.

A marker for the formation of a full-fledged tandem is when the contractor participates in purchasing decisions.

Among sales specialists, there is an opinion that the contractor must competently refuse the client so that he begins to insist, as shown in the film “Boiler Room”. But this is manipulation, and Sandler proceeds from the fact that there are no fools (sorry) around, and you need to respect the people you work with.

Sandler's Seven Stages

Sandler presented the model in the form of a flywheel, hinting that after going through all seven stages, you need to return to the first one to give the relationship a new impetus. Graphically it can be represented as a spiral.

If we assume that there will be a second turn of the flywheel, and a third, then there is no need to get into the client’s soul from the very beginning. Over time, as the relationship develops, everything will come organically.

1. Understanding
   This is not so much establishing contact as a mutual choice of each other for a long, completely open relationship. Of course, it all starts with a small talk, but it takes something more to start trusting. Perhaps this is some kind of help or trial purchases.

2. Contract
   Typically, this is a verbal agreement on the principles of teamwork. Partners agree on rights, duties and responsibilities, and discuss the purpose and format of interaction. The contract is needed to clarify the intentions. In this case, trust appears – i.e. community of intentions, interests and goals.

3. Pain
   As trust develops and the client understands that he can rely on the seller's expertise, he reveals the pain points (needs) of his business. Shares concerns, talks about past negative experiences, and immerses the contractor in the specifics of his activities. He, in turn, tries to help, not sell. At the same time, both understand that one does not exclude the other.

4. Resources
   To find a suitable solution, you need to understand what resources we have. Of course, first of all we are talking about the budget, but it can also be about the client’s time, the acceptable level of risks, administrative resources, etc. Often the budget issue comes down to the supplier's decision to continue working with the client or not. This is too consumerist an attitude for a tandem built on trust.

5. Solution
   Thanks to the union, the contractor gets access to any information, and the client expects an objective, optimal solution. It is not necessary for the contractor to act as a prescriber, like a doctor or pharmacist in a pharmacy. It is important that he supplements the client’s reasoning with his expertise, observation, and examples from other projects and areas.

6. Presentation
   Even in conditions of complete trust, acting in the interests of the client, it is important to convey to him the value of your vision. The presentation in this case is valuable not so much for the slides or pitch, but for the subsequent discussion.

7. Next steps
   Further steps may include either starting work or continuing to search for a solution. If both understand that it is better for the client to take advantage of the competitors' offer, then the contractor will not stop him. Moreover, it will help ensure the adequacy of the offer, and then help you get the maximum benefit from cooperation with another company.

Literature on Sandler's methodology

The methodology is described in some detail in two books by David Mattson, “The Psychology of Successful Sales. A Guide for Effective Salespeople” and “49 Laws of Sales.”

Small talk

Small talk or short conversation is not about a way to establish contact or friendships. And not even about awkward silence or the ability to fill a pause in a conversation. This is the password.

Light, casual conversation is the main source of diagnostic information. The assessment takes place literally at the level of the cerebellar amygdala.

Cerebellar tonsil, or Amygdala – this is an organ in the human brain, which, in particular, is responsible for the identification of individuals with each other in the wild. This is where the unconscious decision to be friends, attack or run away appears.

Then connects neocortex, thanks to which interlocutors recognize friend or foe at the level of environment, behavior, etc. Therefore, you need: firstly, to really comply; secondly, demonstrate it competently.

Topics for a short conversation

People communicate for their own pleasure and do not want to receive insights or receive sensational news. They relax to see if the other person can relax in their presence.

Simple general topics are suitable for this:
• Sports, weather, work
• Hobbies, interests, travel
• Cinema, music, sights
• Any positive neutral news
• Humor, a compliment, a question that is pleasant to answer

There are also taboos:
• Politics, society
• Health, medicine (except biohacking)
• Religion, nationality
• Shopping, especially brands and prices
• Carefully refer to names (namedropping)
• There is no need to try to extract any information or agree on something
• And, of course, no gossip (about everyone, including competitors, either well or not at all)

A good short conversation looks like badminton or frisbee (flying saucer). Unlike tennis, there is no competition in Frisbee. People just love throwing this round thing to each other. Any question or statement should help the interlocutor to accept the presentation and respond successfully.

Personalize a short conversation

In order for a person to identify his interlocutor as his own, he must correctly identify his counterpart and use only what will be interesting to him. Social networks, your workplace or office, as well as recommendations from those who know your interlocutor are very helpful.

It often happens that it is not difficult to guess about the interests of the interlocutor, but it is difficult to talk with knowledge of the matter. No one person can try everything that other people are into.

It helps when both are from the same crowd – sports, gaming, music, etc., but you also have to actively broaden your horizons.

Chunking

Chunk (from the English chunk – piece, fragment) is a semantic unit. With the help of chunks, speakers, authors, designers, and managers structure information. If they do it correctly, then people hear them and remember what they ordered or wrote.

Chunking is often used to remember information, but it works both ways: not only to remember, but also to convey information. The simplest and most common example of chunking is when a company structures a phone number to make it easier to remember. Let's say 8-800-446-78-22 breaks it down differently: 8-800-44-678-22. Of course, effort is still needed to remember, but the task becomes easier. And if you beat it somehow, the task will become even easier.

Text

The client who receives the presentation will appreciate the pages worked out in terms of chunking. In gratitude for the easy perception, he will read and remember all the arguments given.

Here is a checklist that will help you check old pages and create new ones:
• Short paragraphs separated by white space;
• Short lines of text (50-75 characters);
• Clear visual hierarchy of blocks;
• Headings and subheadings that contrast with the rest of the text;
• Key words in bold or italics (experts advise, but my idea of ​​beauty does not allow this);
• Bulleted or numbered lists;
• Short summary paragraph.

Graphic arts

Idea Carl Jung divide personality traits into extroverted and introverted lies not so much in the fact that some people like to communicate and others do not, but rather in the fact that extroverts see primarily objects, and introverts see the relationships between them.

In the beginning of the movie “Mind games” future scientist John Nash told his classmate: “You can explain mathematically why your tie is bad.”

The complexity of relationships can be such that others may not understand another introvert. However, it is the interrelations of objects that make it possible to structure information of various formats.

To do this, elements are grouped, aligned, and placed sequentially. Colored backgrounds, horizontal lines, and white space zone the page and allow users to visually distinguish what is connected and what is not.

Speech

Working in system integration, I heard the head of a department argue a decision to a client:
– Firstly, this is the best option, and secondly, and thirdly… Do you understand?
The client nodded in agreement.

This is not manipulation. On the part of the client, this is gratitude for the fact that the contractor did not meticulously explain all the advantages of his proposal.

In 1956, a researcher in the field of cognitive psychology George Miller found that most people can only hold seven pieces of information in short-term memory. Interestingly, the key to this finding is not how many chunks people remember, but that the size of those chunks doesn't matter.

You can tell seven stories or one consisting of seven blocks. In the famous fairy tale about how the magpie-crow cooked porridge, the child’s fingers are specially bent. Therefore, without special memorization, he learns that if the wood is not chopped and the stove is not lit, then there will be no lunch.

User training

Any training courses are built according to the type of skewer. All the necessary tools are attached to one idea, topic or model.

In some business books you can find the so-called “loose talk”. This is when the author lays out everything he knows in the form of an endless list of tools. All the same things can be presented in a more accessible form if the tools are combined into groups and linked by one common idea.

Safe compliment

A good compliment is one that cannot be separated from the flow of speech. In some cases, he confirms what everyone already knows, in others he notices what no one seems to see.

Any person – both men and women – pays great attention to compliments and does not feel fed up. Therefore, theoretically, a compliment should always come in handy. But that doesn't happen. Perhaps that's why we do them less often than people deserve. And the problem here is not only that someone does not know how to accept compliments, but also in the wording.

A compliment, separated into a separate independent unit of dialogue, changes the disposition of the interlocutors. The one who gives the compliment obviously agrees to it, but the other one, perhaps, does not. We will call such compliments open.

Thus, accepting an open compliment from a newcomer means accepting him, giving him a certain status. The newcomer could be a potential contractor, an interview candidate, or a member of the opposite sex.

Even the head of state may find himself in the role of a newcomer. On her 80th birthday, actress Faina Ranevskaya arrived in the Kremlin to present an award, where Brezhnev met her:
– Here comes our Mulya-don’t-nervous-me! — the Secretary General exclaimed good-naturedly.
“That’s how either boys or street punks address me,” answered Faina Georgievna.
– Don't be offended. – Leonid Ilyich was embarrassed. – I just love you very much.

Ranevskaya in this story found herself in a higher status than the general secretary. However, if she accepted the compliment, it would be the other way around.

However, there is a way to give a compliment, cheer up, and gain the favor of your interlocutor without changing your disposition. Safely.

Safe compliment formats

The format of an open compliment is too large a bill. “The Kiss through the Veil,” as Victor Hugo called it. A larger bill is just a declaration of love and fidelity.

In order for a compliment to be guaranteed to be accepted, the bill must be smaller. Therefore, interlocutors often start a conversation with nature, weather and current fashion (small talk). In a conversation, it is easier to casually notice things that are important to a person.

The safest compliment is geographical.

Examples:
1. I was in your city. I especially liked the opera house / House of Merchant Ivanov / installation “Big Clay No. 4” (underline as appropriate).
2. The weather is fine today, and we were lucky with parking. Nice area. How long have you had an office here?
3. I love old Moscow, and the courtyard is so cozy.

A less safe, but more effective compliment is a corporate one.

Examples:
1. I always wanted to work in this field.
2. An excellent strategy is to go through regional offices.
3. By the way, I wanted to tell you… The people I talked to were such nice people!

An even less safe, but effective compliment is a project compliment.

Examples:
1. How did you do it?
2. Brilliant idea! Did you come up with this yourself?
3. If this task is yours, then I am calm.

You can also give compliments through reference or quotation.

Examples:
1. You rightly noted that…
2. I am sure you can easily complement my answer.
3. Considering that Gennady Petrovich is with us, I’m afraid to sound unconvincing, but I’ll try to express my thoughts.

According to Marlene Dietrich, a good compliment is like a sandwich: something special between two everyday things.

All listed formats can be played from “I-positions” This will significantly increase the safety of compliments. The I-position differs in that the author of the compliment this time does not know, but feels. To be more precise, he feels something, but doesn’t know why.

For example, you may not refer to a specific landmark, as in the case of the opera house, but simply say that this city is easy to breathe. Of course, one can find fault with the city air, as well as with the opera house, but the likelihood of such a turn tends to zero.

There is always a risk, but there is less responsibility. The fact that I liked the opera house the most must have at least some explanation. And the feeling can be 100% subjective and does not require justification.

Examples:
1. I was just thinking about you
2. Projects like this inspire me
3. It’s nice to be in such company

A separate compliment format is signs of politeness. The word “compliment” came to us from French (compliment – greeting, congratulation). Common words of politeness are considered a mandatory attribute of dialogue, but they can be slightly modified. For example, you can say hello with a slight smile.

There are many modification options, but they all have one thing in common – elongation. “Good afternoon” is better than “hello”; “Hello, Kostya” is better than just “Hello”; stopping and saying hello is better than saying hello on the run; writing a message and checking spelling is better than sending it just like that, etc.

Taking time for a person is a very good and absolutely safe compliment. In any case, that is how it is perceived.

Present

In my Soviet childhood there was a book “The Adventures of a Prehistoric Boy”. From it I firmly remembered that if you come to a neighboring tribe without gifts, you may not return. Will kill.

Feathers, beautiful stones, and animal skins were used. Actually everything is the same as now. The only difference is that the lack of a gift leads to the death not of the person, but of the relationship.

In 1976, sociologists Philip Koontz and Michael Woolcott conducted an experiment in which they sent Christmas cards to 578 random recipients in Chicago. The messages varied: some received an expensive, high-quality card with poems and beautiful winter landscapes, while others received simple white cards with the handwritten phrase “Merry Christmas.”

20% of recipients (117 people) sent reply postcards. Some of them sent standard Christmas cards, others sent photos of their children and animals, and others sent multi-page letters about what had happened in their lives over the past few years.

Scientists have found that people are more likely to respond to high-quality cards (30% sent cards in response to high-quality cards and only 15% to low-quality cards), as well as to people with higher social status (26% sent cards to Dr. and Mrs. Koontz, while only 15% answered Phil and Joyce).

To conduct this experiment, Koontz and Wolcott initially hypothesized (which later turned out to be correct) that people feel obligated to respond to Christmas cards from strangers, which became the basis for the concept of the reciprocity rule.

Evolutionary psychology uses the rule of reciprocity to explain altruism, focusing on our expectation that “helping others will make them more likely to help us in the future.” The basis for this is the human desire to reciprocate kindness and cooperate in order to survive.

Gift selection

In the early 20th century, diamond engagement rings were a poor seller. Brides, according to Locke's research, were practical. It seemed strange to poor girls to spend a lot of money on a tiny stone. For such a price, they tried to stand out more. The rich wanted to be distinguished by their intellect and connections, rather than by the ability to buy an expensive item.

The company found an original solution De Beers. She began to position diamonds as a status symbol for the giver. Men were shown how women wait and rejoice at a gift in the form of a ring with a stone. They said that only a successful man can give a diamond ring. Diamonds remain a desirable gift to this day.

Despite the “unattractiveness” of diamonds for girls, over time they became popular. If a gift is the status of the giver, then the use of this gift is the status of the recipient: “I wear diamonds because men appreciate me.”

In other words, you need to choose gifts that increase the status of the giver, then receiving this gift will be more pleasant. This idea is also confirmed in the Koontz and Wolcott experiment with Christmas greetings. A well-made postcard with a status signature dramatically increases the response rate, because new interesting acquaintances and new relationships appear in the recipient’s life. The postcard reminds that the recipient has connections, weight in society, and respect.

Daniel Kahneman proposed a thought experiment to illustrate possession effect:

A person is an avid fan of a band and buys a concert ticket for $200. For the same ticket he could pay no more than $500. After purchasing a ticket, a person is offered to sell this ticket for $3,000, but he refuses to sell. So, the minimum selling price is above $3,000, and the maximum purchase price is $500.

Of course, a gift is always a surprise, but people expect it. Having a friend who will always give you a gift and say a few nice words is like having a ticket to a concert of your favorite band. No one will want to part with him. In any case, no less than $3000)

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